Vicodin--A Brief Appreciation

As my health collapsed in the last 18 months I gained an unexpected benefit. Pain from injuries led in my case to surgery, which of course led to some substantial recuperative pain that I still struggle with today. Post-operative pain is one of the things best handled by the medical industry, due to their rational and purposeful views towards narcotic medication. Rather than equivocate morally about potential abuse dangers, a surgeon just hands you a prescription for you to use as you please. A smart and enterprising drug fanatic can ensure themselves months of guilt-free pleasure by careful consumption and maintenance of their supply of pain-killing medication.

After two painful abdominal procedures and a shoulder procedure I built up a sizable reservoir of Vicodin. Rather than waste all of these beauties during the intial phase of my recovery, I took small amounts at first, using them as responsibly as a doctor or nurse. The remainder I proceeded to enjoy over the course of six months or so, washing them down with beer to ensure a healthy buzz. As my fondness for Vicodin grew I made sure to use them sparingly, separating days of use with at least two days of non-use so no nasty little habits had a chance to attach themselves to me. The effects of the drug are euphoric, like most painkillers, but also totally relaxing, like Valium. So stupefying are the effects when combined with alcohol that you almost forget you live in Bush's America for the duration of the evening--which, of course, makes this a very valuable pill to me and my consciousness.

More than anything though, my experience with Vicodin has given me a new appreciation for the prescription medication lifestyle. Easy to carry , odorless--I will dearly miss them when they are gone. I'm used to reeking of marijuana pretty much wherever I go, so the pill-bottle cleanliness of the whole Vicodin high is a new thing for me. Playing music or listening to music or reading are all good activities while under the spell of Vics. It's not a drool-on-yourself-and-watch-TV drug, unless that's what you want to make of it. As my supply dwindles, I'll be wistful with each passing pill.

Hydrocodone and acetaminophen are friends with such Americans as Bret Favre, Courtney Love, and Rush Limbaugh. And now they have a devotee in the seaweed-choked waters of the Sargasso Sea.