Renaming FEMA
After the disastrous performance of the Federal Emergency Management Agency in the wake of the Deep South Hurricane of 2005, it has been suggested by some that the agency be removed from the aegis of the Department of Homeland Security. Additionally, the cabinet-level post the office held under the Clinton administration will possibly be restored. I propose in the spirit of the Bush administration that the agency be completely renamed, so that the stain of history's judgment against them for their disgraceful efforts to "rescue" American citizens in New Orleans might be forgotten. Here are some potential new names that have the benefit of using the same acronym as the agency, so they don't have to throw out any of those cool t-shirts or windbreakers or baseball caps that were made at taxpayers' expense.....
FEMA--Failure to Evacuate Many Americans
FEMA--Faith-based Eschatology, Meticulously Applied
FEMA--Families that Earn More are Airlifted
FEMA--Fascist Emetics Made Available
FEMA--Flagrantly Evil Military Attaches
FEMA--Friends Elevated, without Much Ability
FEMA--Free Eugenics Methodology Application
FEMA--Fundamentally Egotistical Macho Assholes
FEMA--Fuck Everybody, Move Away
Within these new titles, the American government's philosopy of rescue is clearly expressed. Such clarity of mission can only help the new, reconstituted FEMA to do its job better next time. Whatever job that is, I mean.
FEMA--Failure to Evacuate Many Americans
FEMA--Faith-based Eschatology, Meticulously Applied
FEMA--Families that Earn More are Airlifted
FEMA--Fascist Emetics Made Available
FEMA--Flagrantly Evil Military Attaches
FEMA--Friends Elevated, without Much Ability
FEMA--Free Eugenics Methodology Application
FEMA--Fundamentally Egotistical Macho Assholes
FEMA--Fuck Everybody, Move Away
Within these new titles, the American government's philosopy of rescue is clearly expressed. Such clarity of mission can only help the new, reconstituted FEMA to do its job better next time. Whatever job that is, I mean.
posted by alyosha mcbain at 10:45 AM
6 Comments:
How about Find Everybody Meandering About
Apparently you don't watch the news. FEMA did an outstanding job in New Orleans! Quite buying into liberal propaganda machines such as the New York Times, Washington Post, LA Times, BBC, USA Today, ABC News, CBS News, NBC, local Fox channels and the PTA. Start watching Fox News Channel and you will start seeing reality.
Kirk--News isn't meant to be watched, you dolt--it's made to be written about, thought about, and discussed. Most of you Xtian fools can't seem to understand that, since you are all too willing to have your info spoon-fed to you by your priests, pastors, and politicians....but then again, if your cable TV was not working, would you even be able to form an opinion on any subject? would your brain even exist?
Thanks for the tip on the "reality" provided by Fox News though,--it's the final proof that I needed to consider you a complete shiteating conservative redneck knee-scraping falsely pious fuckhead. I'd like to really, really thank you for that.
If you like Fox News, though, there's a newspaper from Germany in the 1930's that you should also get into--it's called the Volkischer Beobachter, and it was the propaganda organ of Hitler's Third Reich. In it I think you will find the same standards of journalistic integrity that Fox News regularly demonstrates. The "reality" manufactured by this paper jibes neatly with the lying and perverted vision of today's reality that is offered by Fox News.
Alyosha: I wish I could say I was shocked that you are trying to push Nazi propaganda on me, but unfortunately I've seen this before from other liberals. Do you people realize how many people suffered at the hands of Hitler? You disgust me, but you are the fringe of society.
If you wish to worship one of the worst leaders the modern world has seen, at least have the decency to do it in Germany, not in my country you goose-stepping Kraut.
I can't stand you extremist liberals.
Kirk--since you are obviously too simpleminded to appreciate the point I was making about your beloved Fox News Channel, I will try to explain it to you in terms that you might understand...
Sarcasm is a method of expression that involves a certain amount of ironic distance from that which it attempts to discuss. Oftentimes the use of sarcasm involves postulates that are absurd or contradictory in order to make its contemptuous point. I utilized this function of the English language the other day when responding to your foolishness.
To clarify--I did not seriously recommend that you should go look up a Nazi-era newspaper. I mentioned the Volkischer Beobachter to illustrate a point about the worthlessness of the Bush Propaganda Network--otherwise known as Fox News Channel. Their role in propping up this criminal conspiracy that disguises itself as a presidential administration has many similarities with the role played by the Beobachter in the days leading up to Hitler's seizure of power.
The idea that some red-stater, blind with love and loyalty for Head Fascist GW Bush, can lecture me on the atrocities perpetrated by the Third Reich is laughable. I despise Adolf Hitler and everything he ever stood for. Any perusal of this blog should back that statement up, but I'm sure the limitations imposed upon your brain by your extra chromosomes prevent you from reading more than one post per day on any blog.
The USA is a liberal democracy, despite the best efforts of the repressive right to change it to some kind of war-obsessed and Jesus-driven society. Your lack of understanding on this issue is all too typical of those whose "ideas" you promote and share.
Lastly, I don't care what you think, feel, or believe in. I will out-think you, out-drink you, out-fight you, and out-fuck you. The best that you can do in response is offer to combat reality in the form of rightist propaganda.
Alyosha: You are not a very good liar. Anyone that comes in here can read your first comment and see that you were pushing Nazi propaganda claiming it is as reliable as Fox News. Your many words can't cover up this fact.
Post a Comment
<< Home